Hidden Smiles
by Recode
Summary: A collection of TezukaRyoma drabbles.
1. Hurt

**Title: **Hidden Smiles  
**Author:** Angel (wwwDOTdaunting-silenceDOTnet)  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, PoT doesn't belong to me.

'Hidden Smiles' is a collection of my short Tezuka x Ryoma drabbles. This is my first time writing drabbles (unless you count a one-shot-2000-word-fanfiction drabble). Please go easy on me, and thank you for reading.

**Drabble #1 : Hurt**

Tentative hand caressed a slightly bruised yet still smooth cheek. One side of the delicate cheeks was still red from the impact of angered hand. Echizen Ryoma remembered the scene very clearly. When Tezuka Kunimitsu's hand landed on his cheek, his mind went blank. He didn't feel the pain of being slapped. He didn't even feel any pain when he fell hard onto the merciless ground.

He was numb. He barely noticed the Seigaku-Tennis-Club-captain-turned-temporary-coach asking him to follow him home for a little talk. It almost looked like Fate was out to get him since the past few days.

"Does it hurt?"

". . ."

"Does it hurt, Echizen?"

". . . No."

Tezuka sighed at the lie. "Ryoma…"

Ryoma shrugged. "Mada mada dane."

A rare chuckle escaped the usually aloof Tezuka. The younger boy's head was slightly bowed as if he was trying not to look at the other boy at all. In truth, Ryoma really was trying to _not_ look. The older boy tilted Ryoma's face upward and promptly flinched at the emptiness reflected on the younger boy's face. It was so hollow and emotionless that it hurt. The only thing that alerted Tezuka of Ryoma's agony was his eyes. The cat-like eyes looked like they were crying albeit the dryness of the smooth surface.

Closing his own eyes, Tezuka pulled a silent Ryoma into his arms. The latter showed no reaction and it the silence between them felt so daunting. '_Echizen Ryoma is strong. He wouldn't be hurt over such thing. He's more sensible than people give him credits for,_' the captain assured himself. When the small body in his arms started to shake, however, Tezuka was not so sure anymore. The way Ryoma buried his face into Tezuka's shirt pained Tezuka in a way. His hold around the younger boy tightened instinctively.

When the future Pillar of Seigaku spoke, Tezuka finally understood. Ryoma was not lying when he said it didn't hurt when Tezuka hurt him. His cheek didn't hurt at all.

It was Ryoma's heart that bled.


	2. Rain

**Title: **Hidden Smiles - _Drabble #2: Rain  
_**Word Count:** 123  
**Author:** Angel (wwwDOTdaunting-silenceDOTnet)  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, PoT doesn't belong to me.

**Drabble #2 : Rain**

Echizen Ryoma loved the rain. When he was little, he simply adored playing in the rain regardless of what his parents say. Sometimes, when he was too frustrated that he wanted to cry, Ryoma would run out of their house when it rained so he could cry to his heart's content.

Nobody knew, of course.

So, when it rained after Tezuka defeated him for the first time, Ryoma was more than grateful. His tears weren't as visible as they mingled with the cold drops of rain. At that moment, however, the rain felt warm to the touch. Maybe it was because Ryoma did not cry out of frustration.

No.

He cried because Tezuka Kunimitsu's words touched the deepest corner of his hardened soul.


	3. Love

**Title: **Hidden Smiles - _Drabble #3: Love  
_**Word Count:** 182 words  
**Author:** Angel (wwwDOTdaunting-silenceDOTnet)  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, PoT doesn't belong to me.

**Drabble #3 : Love**

Echizen Ryoma and Tezuka Kunimitsu were men of few words. They hardly say anything even when they sit right next to each other. It was a wonder how they could actually be romantically involved with each other. It was a big shock for the entire Seigaku tennis club members when they found out about their stoic _buchou_ and their resident _Madamada-kun_.

The most affectionate words they ever heard from their captain were probably either "_Yudan sezu ni ikou!_" or _"xxx laps around the courts!_"

And Ryoma breath was mostly used to occasionally say "_Mada mada dane_".

The Seigaku regulars were always tempted to ask Tezuka and Ryoma as to how their relationship survived when they barely talked to each other. When they did ask, neither would say anything. After a period of time, however, they got their answers without having to force the answer out of them.

The affectionate gestures and warm smiles they gave each other spoke a million words. After all, love is not measured by how many times you say it.

Love is how many times you feel it.


	4. Last Words

**Title: **Hidden Smiles - _Drabble #4: Last Words  
_**Word Count:** 724 words  
**Author:** Angel (wwwDOTdaunting-silenceDOTnet)  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, PoT doesn't belong to me.

This piece of drabble doesn't really make sense even to myself. Hmm…

**Drabble #4 : Last Words**

The light from the street lamps seemed to follow him. With every few steps he took, his heart felt like it skipped a beat. For over a month now, he'd been going to the tennis court near Haruna University every night, surrounded only by dim light and silence of the night. Tezuka Kunimitsu wondered why he was continuing this when he could have put a stop to it a long time ago. They didn't need extra practice such as this anymore. Both of them were already at the heights of their performance.

_They_ – Tezuka Kunimitsu and Echizen Ryoma both.

Tezuka looked up from the gate at the young boy who was currently warming up on the left court. From afar, Echizen Ryoma looked pale. Tezuka wondered how he looked from up close. And he wondered why the boy looked that pale when there was nothing wrong with him.

Or so he thought, and _believed_.

As soon as he opened the gate, the other boy looked up from his position and flashed the young captain a grateful smile, as if to thank him for being there. Tezuka nodded silently and went to the opposite side of the court. In no time, one lime green ball was being sent back and forth on the court. Every time Tezuka served, he aimed for the furthest corner of the service box. Ryoma, as usual, tried his best to break the famed Tezuka Zone, leaving Tezuka with no chance to hit his trademark Zero Shiki Drop Shot.

And again that night, Tezuka won 6 – 4, only it took him longer than before to beat the younger boy.

Ryoma looked up expectantly as they shook hands at the net. He looked so hopeful as if Tezuka was going to say something. Instead, the captain turned around so he was not facing Ryoma. He was torn between opening his mouth or not. If he didn't, he knew he'd be playing at the very same court and at the exact same time again for the next day and the days after the next. But if he did, everything would be over.

Chilling breeze blew, and Tezuka finally made his decision.

"Echizen…"

"Yes, Buchou?"

". . . You've improved."

The boy brightened. "You really think so?"

"Aa…"

The wind around them blew harder. Albeit the decision he had made, Tezuka was anxious. Just a few more words and everything would be over. No more tennis games at night – _nothing_.

"E… Ryoma…"

"Yes, Buchou?"

"That day, when you said you love me…"

"What about it?"

Tezuka closed his eyes and tightened his grip on his racket. It was alright; he could do this.

"I just want to say that… I love you too."

No answer from the boy. The wind that was blowing harder ceased altogether and suddenly, the night wasn't so chilling anymore. The air that circulated around them felt warm and comforting. For a moment, Tezuka felt Ryoma hugging him from behind. It was just for a brief moment but it was a moment that he would remember for the rest of his life.

"Buchou… thank you for everything."

Since the past month, rumour had it that the tennis court near the university had been haunted by a ghost. At night, they would hear the sound of tennis ball hitting the ground followed by small laughter and hopeful cries of '_I want to be stronger!'_. If one were to look at the court, they would see no one there. Even the lights would be off.

Tezuka only found out about the rumours after failing to get over Echizen Ryoma's unexpected premature death.

The boy's spirit stayed after his death. Tezuka refused to say the words that would release the boy from his attachment to the living world even though he wanted so much to. If keeping silent meant he could prolong the boy's stay a bit longer, it was enough. But he couldn't stand the thought of Ryoma being not at rest even after his death…

He had finally said the words Ryoma wanted to hear…

When he turned around again, Ryoma was no longer there. Even the lights were off.

Tomorrow, there would be no more rumours.

No more tennis games at night.

Nothing.

And for the first time since Ryoma's death, Tezuka Kunimitsu cried for he had finally let go.


	5. Letting Go

**Title: **Hidden Smiles - _Drabble #5: Letting Go  
_**Word Count:** 523 words  
**Author:** Angel (wwwDOTdaunting-silenceDOTnet)  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, PoT doesn't belong to me.

"_If I had known how to let go, maybe then, I would have loved you…"_

**Drabble #5 : Letting Go**

Echizen Ryoma looked at the broken picture frame on his desk. It had been there for the past few months but the boy made no moves to clear the broken pieces off of his desk. He rarely used it, anyway. When his mother and his cousin offered to get rid of it, he refused. He wanted to leave it there. No, he _needed_ to leave it there. Next to the broken frame was another one which was still new and fresh. While the other frame held a picture of Ryoma with a tall bespectacled boy, this one held the picture of him with a taller boy with fairer hair and a mole under his right eye. Ryoma was smiling in the picture too, but one could see that the smile was not as bright as the one he sported in the other photo. Ryoma compared the boys in both pictures and sighed.

He was so much like _him_. His tennis was something that some players would die for. He even had an air of elegance around him no matter where he went or what he did. He was respected by many, hated and envied by some, and admired by the rest. When he played, he could hit moves that shut people up; his skills made them gasp in awe. In other words, he was so much like _him_.

"_Live. You have a bright future waiting for you."_

Ryoma closed his eyes shut. When he was alone like this, those words _he_ said would ring at the back of his head. He would remember the white walls, those white sheets and frail fingers closing around his hands. And then he would remember a pair of broken spectacles and a white tennis racket under his bed. He had taken those items as remembrance because memories weren't enough.

"_Forget our forever. We don't have it anymore."_

The fair haired boy had been there when Ryoma finally lost his cool and screamed in agony for the first time after a few months of silent grief. It was a week after that that Ryoma saw _him_ in the boy. They went out and spent a lot of time together, but Ryoma found himself incapable of feeling the happiness he once shared with _him_.

"_Let go, Ryoma. Let go, and create another forever with someone else."_

That was when he thought he should stop things before it was too late for the other boy. He didn't want to lead him on when his heart was not in it. It would only turn out ugly in the end if they had continued.

"_Why?"_ The other boy had asked. _"Why can't you try to love me? He won't come back, Ryoma. No one can come back from death. Why can't you give yourself a chance?"_

At that time, Ryoma had only looked at him and smiled sadly.

Picking the broken frame up, he solemnly and longingly gazed at the picture as if it held all the answers in the world.

"Nee, Kunimitsu… Would I have loved Keigo if I had known just how to let go?"

The question was left unanswered.


	6. Homecoming

**Title: **Hidden Smiles - _Drabble #6: Homecoming  
_**Word Count:** 401 words  
**Author:** Angel (wwwDOTdaunting-silenceDOTnet)  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, PoT doesn't belong to me.

I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed Hidden Smiles until now. Thank you very much for your support!  
And sorry if this drabble doesn't make sense… TTTT

'_Kunimitsu… I'm coming home.'_

**Drabble #6 : Homecoming**

He looked at the night sky with disgust. The sky was too bright, and the fact annoyed him greatly. It felt nothing like 'home' even tough it might as well had been his home since he grew up there. The neighbourhood was always too silent and too eerie. No one would greet or even glance his way when he stepped out of the house every morning. No one would smile at him as much too.

He wondered if he'd made the wrong decision.

Tennis was great. He had fought great opponents and defeated them. His skills had improved a lot too, for he was able to get more points from his father when they played. He was no longer playing as Samurai Nanjiroh. He was creating another world to accommodate his new tennis – the skills that would one day show the world his true worth. He knew it was what his Captain hoped for him to achieve.

But, what good was victory when you have no one to share it with you? Nanjiroh could have cared less. All he wanted was to see his son flew higher and higher, for his son to rewrite history like they said he once did. Ryoma was reminded of one victory he achieved back _home_. Tezuka Kunimitsu had met him in the locker room, congratulated him, and unexpectedly kissed him. It happened occasionally, but it remained a secret between them and only them. Both seemed very comfortable with each other even thought they were quiet about it. They would even use each other's first name when they were alone with only one another as company.

If Tezuka had really wanted him to fly away, then why did he kiss the boy? Why did _he_ look so sad then?

He sighed. Both of them were too stubborn, too proud and too selfish at times. Neither was willing to express what they truly felt. Whose fault that was, he didn't know. He'd become stronger, and he knew Tezuka must have evolved somehow too. The cycle was endless. Both of them were just too blind to see that they drove each other closer towards achieving their dreams when they were together.

He should have stayed, and _he_ should have made him stay.

His father would not be happy, and Kevin Smith would kill him if homicide was legal but Ryoma had made a decision.

_'Kunimitsu… I'm coming home.'_


End file.
